The Lord Kelvin

Outside it looks like a dive. Inside, it gets worse! The bar is a large, centrally-positioned, oval, wood monolith with tarnished brass fittings. Most of the space where customers might otherwise be able to sit is taken up by a pool table. Proper ale doesn't exist. You can get a pint of Stella and (if you are very patient and persistent) a warm glass of wine.

Etched glass windows decorate the doors to the loos, and there??™s a weird shrine to West Ham football club glued to one wall. The place claims to do food, but I'm not sure I would want to push my luck that far. You're safer sticking to crisps.

Dont upset Ollie "The Kelvinator" (landlady), it's rumoured she's never been out in daylight. A chav pub, frequented by substance abusers, loud, ignorant locals and sellers of fake Viagara. Won't be my venue of choice next time I happen to be passing through.

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"The Kelvin" used to be a really great town centre pub run by a big rugby-playing lad called Ian. His wife did huge great plates of delicious food and I believe I'm right in saying the pub held the Norfolk record for most beer sold from one establishment.

Today, it's a sorry mess. Full of foul-mouthed local yobs and run my a woman who looks and talks like she hates everybody and everything. I can't imagine what's got into the brewery allowing it to get to this state but, if they don't do something soon, it will close of its own accord.

To call it a working man's pub would be to insult working men. It's a doss house and one star is two too many.

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